Hotel, Motel, Hostel. 5-Star, 1-Star or a friend’s couch. They’re all dirty. Surely you’ve seen investigative reports on how germy even the nicest hotels really are, which makes staying at one feel like the beginning of a horror film. I look forward to the day when hotels are run by people with the strictest and least practical standards for cleanliness, but until then I offer you these tips:

• Take the road less traveled: Be sure to stay in rooms that are less likely to be picked if someone had a choice. If there’s a 13th Floor (or 4th Floor in Asian cultures), try for one of those.
• Check for bed bugs: Bed bugs are nasty, blood-sucking critters that are looking to take a ride home with you, and they’re enjoying a recent resurgence. They are even able to transmit diseases from biting multiple people, although the risk is low. Luckily, there is a national bedbug registry online, so you can check a place out before you book it.
• Know what gets washed: With some foresight you can pack your own towel, sheet and pillowcase. If you’re caught without these, know that towels are normally washed every time someone checks out and should be considered the only clean fabric in the room. Bedspread? Forget about it. Discard that thing as if every plague had generations of family on it. Oh yeah, ditch that top sheet as well since it was touching the bed spread. If the bed looks particularly suspect, I recommend creating a Pillow Buffer.
• That couch is for show: When was the last time the fabric on your couch or chair was cleaned? Yeah, that’s how clean the hotel ones are but with everyone else’s funk.
• Everyone drank from that glass: Hotel glasses are probably the funkiest objects in your room. I suggest watching this video if you’re skeptical. Only use a provided cup if it’s the sealed plastic kind. You may be subjecting yourself to months, maybe even years, of people’s germs.
• Wear socks: Even if you don’t like to wear them, keep in mind that microorganisms like athlete’s foot can survive for months on a bathroom floor. Wrap it up.
• Bring disinfectant wipes: If the staff won’t clean to your standards, you can. Be sure to disinfect door and faucet handles, remotes, telephones, alarm clocks, lamps and appliances as people will touch these with their grimy hands the most.

If you have any tips or experiences in hotels that I didn’t show here, please let me know!

Tags: bed bugs, hotels, survival tips, travel
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Money, along with Public Restrooms, is one of the most feared things in the universe. Follow these rules to avoid contact with the foul objects as frequently as possible.

• Use a Card: This is your best bet as you have complete control over a credit card’s sanitation. Try not to hand the card to a clerk, but when it’s unavoidable, it is easily cleaned with a sanitary wipe.
• Fresh Bills: Banks often carry freshly minted cash. Obtaining it is usually a matter of asking the teller. ATMs should be avoided for this reason.
• Don’t Pick it Up: Few sums of money are worth picking up off of a dirty street. My personal threshold is < 50 cents, and anything slightly above that requires intense debate before going through with it. Pennies? I throw away pennies!
• Use Electronic Toll Tags: I can’t count how many times, while at a toll booth, I have been handed limp, crumbled, grimy old bills in return for my freshly-minted $20. Services like Fastrak in California and E-Z Pass on the East Coast [full list] make it easy to cut cash out of the toll crossing process.
• Buy Online: This is a great idea because not only do you avoid contact with money, but you will stay away from dirty stores, people with Swine Flu, and a potential trip to a public restroom. There’s nothing like opening up a packaged box of freshly manufactured product, knowing that the contents have not been groped by the general public at the mall.
• Use Gloves: Another great way of handling money and remaining incognito is by wearing gloves. Do this the second it becomes slightly cold enough not to be weird. Leather gloves are preferred as these sanitize easily, but anything is better than nothing.

Tags: avoid ATMs, cash, credit cards, electronic toll tags, money, online shopping, survival tips
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Bathrooms are ground zero when it comes to germs and everything unclean. While any germaphobe would avoid public restrooms at all costs, the call of nature has the ability to handicap even the most resolute germaphobe.

Following these steps will ensure safe restroom emergencies.

Tags: bathroom, survival, survival tips
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