Jul
22
2009
Survival Tips: Public Transit
Author: Ryan
Boarding a bus or train can be a daunting task at first for the germaphobe. Before my enlightenment, there were many cases where I got cold feet and failed to jump on a bus even when it stopped for me.
Therefore, with this helpful guide, I will show you how to survive a necessary evil of life: public transit. I know, you must think I’m joking, right? What germaphobe would ever take a dirty city bus? Well, some people are environmentally conscious, live in a place where having a car is a burden, or cannot/will not pay for alternate transit, so let’s review:
- Don’t trust anything you see: Yes, it may look clean but that shiny handle bar was probably coughed on earlier that day, and the saliva has evaporated, leaving pure invisible germs behind. Obvious advice here is to touch as little as possible.
- Make a Safety Assessment: Take note of the people on the bus. This will help you determine where you should be sitting or standing, depending on how dirty the riders look. It’s not nice to stereotype, but sometimes it’s necessary!
- Have a seat: Standing and holding onto the railings is a much more dangerous undertaking. However, depending on who you’re sitting next to, it might be better just to stand.
- It’s not too late: If your initial safety assessment is inaccurate, get off, and wait for another bus or train. The most infamous case of this in my experience was that of The Old Man and the Train.
- Make a touchless exit: As you approach your stop, wait for the bus or train to come to a full stop before exiting. This way you won’t have to hold onto anything or risk falling on the floor. If you must touch a handle to open the door, use your elbow.
- Sanitize: Despite your best efforts, it’s mostly unavoidable to not come into contact with something nasty. Sanitize the affected area with Cleanwell or your preferred hand sanitizer.
- Only take transit when necessary: Can you walk to where you’re going? Would you rather bike? Do it!
- Ignorance is bliss: I normally do not advocate this, but try not to think about how dirty your environment may be. When inside of a bus or train, these thoughts are toxic and can bring you to the brink of madness.